Asger Capital
PORTFOLIO OVERVIEW // NET WORTH DOMINANCE
"I lost 50% so you don't have to (but you will)."
VIEW THE DAMAGE →
MVP LOSER
RUBICO (RUBI)
Strategy: "Strategic Dilution"
"The company printed more shares than the Fed prints dollars. But the forum sentiment was bullish!"
-99.9%
MEME KING
DATAVAULT AI
Strategy: "Dividends? No. JPEGS."
"Stock price crashing? Quick, release a 'Dream Bowl 2026' Meme Coin! Shareholders love imaginary tokens."
-RUGGED
ACCIDENTAL WIN
ENERGY FUELS
Strategy: "Glowing Green"
"I thought I was buying an energy drink company. Turns out it's uranium. Accidentally made profit."
+GAINS
ACTUAL ACCOUNT PERFORMANCE
(Don't look too closely at the Y-axis)
TESTIMONIALS
"Asger told me to buy the dip. It kept dipping." - Former Friend
"I used to have a retirement fund. Now I have Rubico shares." - Anonymous Bagholder
"Is this legal?" - The SEC
DISCLAIMER: This website is a joke. Just like my portfolio. I am not a financial advisor, I am a warning. Do not buy what I buy. In fact, short everything I touch. Past performance is indicative of future disasters. No refunds.